


Bro Shreds Some Rails

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [43]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Gen, Slapstick, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: Bro Strider was definitely a man who did things and earned a living the same way you and I did things and earned a living. Sure, that living was earned by decapitating puppets with grisly traps at the unwitting behest of his younger brother (technically son, in the eyes of the state... charge? whatever you called the person you were the legal guardian of), and then recording those decapitations and selling them to a surprisingly lucrative audience of several hundred whales, but, well, that was just capitalism, wasn't it? Supply and demand. Someone needed that puppet smut, god damnit, and Bro was going to tap that unfulfilled market while also living off a very old man's inheritance money that Bro was given for some patents he had developed in his 20s.That is why Bro was instead spending the day shredding ass at a skatepark.43/365
Relationships: Bro Strider & Gnarly Tricks
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [43]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Bro Shreds Some Rails

Bro Strider was definitely a man who did things and earned a living the same way you and I did things and earned a living. Sure, that living was earned by decapitating puppets with grisly traps at the unwitting behest of his younger brother (technically son, in the eyes of the state... charge? whatever you called the person you were the legal guardian of), and then recording those decapitations and selling them to a surprisingly lucrative audience of several hundred whales, but, well, that was just capitalism, wasn't it? Supply and demand. Someone needed that puppet smut, god damnit, and Bro was going to tap that unfulfilled market while also living off a very old man's inheritance money that Bro was given for some patents he had developed in his 20s.

That is why Bro was instead spending the day shredding ass at a skatepark.

Was Bro good at skateboarding? Eh. He was okay. He took a running start, dropped the board down, hopped on, and immediately flipped off of it, nearly slamming his head against the nearest rail on his first attempt to ollie. Good thing he was - oh, he's not wearing a helmet or any sort of safety equipment and instead just let himself get concrete-burn on his palms? Very well, carry on.

It was a great thing this was during a school day, where there were no snot-nosed little children around to make fun of him as he failed, repeatedly, to ollie onto a rail and grind it to the conclusion. Bro Strider was a man who had ridden a no-shit hoverboard with little flames on it, that flew a little bit, like an inch or so off the ground. It was Skaianet shit, and he rid it, and he absolutely ripped ass, just straight shredded, all the way up a half pipe for the delight of hundreds of investors. There were fireworks and everything, it was stupid, and he was great at it.

Why did the sudden addition of wheels make this way, way harder?

He took a deep breath, started running, tossed the board on the ground, and hopped on. Weight backwards, pop it up, land on the rail and immediately fall off, tumbling onto the ground to take another couple of good scrapes to the elbows. Yeah. This was real skating. Fuck Tony Hawk, this was what skating was all about. He grabbed his board and immediately flicked it at the rail like throwing a playing card - it impacted with an uncomfortable sounding little crack and bounced off, directly into Bro's chest. What impeccable aim. Really, what are the odds of bouncing something shaped like a skateboard off a cylindrical object directly into you after throwing it? Seriously, incredible aim. Good job.

Bro grabbed the board one more time, holding it with one hand, and giving a good angled charge at the rail. Drop, jump, and immediately slip off and slam your shins into the rail, flipping over, somersaulting along the ground while the skateboard bounced off a nearby ramp at the perfect angle to very, very slowly to bump into his head.

Bro let out a loud grunt of despair, grabbing the board, angling it upside-down against a nearby elevated flat surface, and double-foot dropkicking it in half. Maybe another day, Bro Strider. Maybe another day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


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